I hope your day is all that you wish and more.  Warm hugs from down south

:)

We are heading to court in the next few minutes.  If you have a little extra calming energy, I could sure use it right about now. 

Hugs,

Curt

So.... it appears that both my gals are busy busy this weekend.  I have to work on Friday and late morning on Sunday. 

But.... I do have Saturday free.  Anybody else free? 

Dont feel like being  domestic dude all weekend.

Hi all.  I changing my facebook page over to a much more vanilla version of me.  There are too many people that I wish to hook back up with.  And this seems to be the easiest way of making it happen.  If you have a vanilla version of you on facebook, then send me back a link and I'll put you back in.  But its going to be pretty much a clean start.  Also, if you notice anything that I have missed, send me a poke and tell me I'm a dork!  

Just wanted to get this out there.  Again, I have a couple of forums for my "family" of poly and kinky friends.  I feel that I need one for those how I just havent found the way to let into all of who I truly am.

Thank you for understanding.

With great respect,

C

I found this rather interesting and thought I would share with you. 

May you all have a most pleasent day.  The world is full of love.  It doesnt have to be contained to just one day.  Thankfully, I am part of community that seems to get that.  Thank you for allowing me to live in this place with you.

Curt

Excerpt from theHistoryChannel.com

"One legend contends that Valentine was a priest who served during the third century in Rome. When Emperor Claudius II decided that single men made better soldiers than those with wives and families, he outlawed marriage for young men — his crop of potential soldiers. Valentine, realizing the injustice of the decree, defied Claudius and continued to perform marriages for young lovers in secret. When Valentine's actions were discovered, Claudius ordered that he be put to death.

According to one legend, Valentine actually sent the first 'valentine' greeting himself. While in prison, it is believed that Valentine fell in love with a young girl — who may have been his jailor's daughter — who visited him during his confinement. Before his death, it is alleged that he wrote her a letter, which he signed 'From your Valentine,' an expression that is still in use today. Although the truth behind the Valentine legends is murky, the stories certainly emphasize his appeal as a sympathetic, heroic, and, most importantly, romantic figure. It's no surprise that by the Middle Ages, Valentine was one of the most popular saints in England and France.

While some believe that Valentine's Day is celebrated in the middle of February to commemorate the anniversary of Valentine's death or burial — which probably occurred around 270 A.D — others claim that the Christian church may have decided to celebrate Valentine's feast day in the middle of February in an effort to 'christianize' celebrations of the pagan Lupercalia festival. In ancient Rome, February was the official beginning of spring and was considered a time for purification. Houses were ritually cleansed by sweeping them out and then sprinkling salt and a type of wheat called spelt throughout their interiors. Lupercalia, which began at the ides of February, February 15, was a fertility festival dedicated to Faunus, the Roman god of agriculture, as well as to the Roman founders Romulus and Remus.

To begin the festival, members of the Luperci, an order of Roman priests, would gather at the sacred cave where the infants Romulus and Remus, the founders of Rome, were believed to have been cared for by a she-wolf or lupa. The priests would then sacrifice a goat, for fertility, and a dog, for purification.

The boys then sliced the goat's hide into strips, dipped them in the sacrificial blood and took to the streets, gently slapping both women and fields of crops with the goathide strips. Far from being fearful, Roman women welcomed being touched with the hides because it was believed the strips would make them more fertile in the coming year. Later in the day, according to legend, all the young women in the city would place their names in a big urn. The city's bachelors would then each choose a name out of the urn and become paired for the year with his chosen woman. These matches often ended in marriage. Pope Gelasius declared February 14 St. Valentine's Day around 498 A.D. The Roman 'lottery' system for romantic pairing was deemed un-Christian and outlawed. Later, during the Middle Ages, it was commonly believed in France and England that February 14 was the beginning of birds' mating season, which added to the idea that the middle of February — Valentine's Day — should be a day for romance. The oldest known valentine still in existence today was a poem written by Charles, Duke of Orleans to his wife while he was imprisoned in the Tower of London following his capture at the Battle of Agincourt. The greeting, which was written in 1415, is part of the manuscript collection of the British Library in London, England. Several years later, it is believed that King Henry V hired a writer named John Lydgate to compose a valentine note to Catherine of Valois."

Ive done a lot of thinking about this weekend in terms of what it was I felt there.  More specifically, what I felt before, during and after the class that I helped facilitate.  Okay... before I go any further.... no this isnt a new space.  At least not entirely.  And yes, Im well aware that "the drop"  is still hanging on tenaciously.  So only thoughts.  For now.

There definitely was a sense of purpose that I found and seem to have been lacking professionally for some time now.  I believe a great deal of it comes from the energy generated by that group.  When you have that many people all in the same place, focused that intently and where they know they are free from judgment and ridicule, it allows for more relaxation and sense of peace.  That peace leads to the dropping of walls that all of us have.  And once the walls begin to come down, there is an exchange that can happen on a level that just doesnt happen often.  In that place where honest communication fuses with energy and emotion, something truly magical happens for me. 
Its where I want to be.  Its where I want to live.  Not just for the space of a weekend. But all the time.  I want to be able to help facilitate that kind of exchange.  Be it between people or within the confines of self, I want to help others find their own space to live freely and openly as they are able.  I want them to know that just because they differ in some regards from the "norm", they are in fact still normal.  Not something to be gawked at or pointed to and made fun of.  It feeds a part of me, deeply and intimately.  This isnt even about my own agenda.  Yes,  I believe that a very vocal minority makes things exceedingly difficult for people in all walks of life.  If ones belief or practices fall outside of what they consider to be right, it is their moral imperative to correct those who have strayed. 

I affected me deeply to be on the receiving side of a hateful picket.  Its a first.  I was nervous, scared even in some regards.  But I know what I believe.  And I know that what is right for me, though it may not be right for everyone, is okay for my life.  I cant imagine what it took for some with less resolve or other over-riding issues to walk into that facility.  To have much of what they hold near and dear be brought into such question and displayed on such a public stage.  I know I dont want my fears and struggles put out there for all to see.  Id hate to have some of my most intimate concerns put to question in such a public forum.  It would be devastating and leave me with feelings of hopelessness and great self-doubt. 

It shouldnt have to be that way. 


The Serenity Prayer is generally thought to have been written by Reinhold Niebuhr

God / Goddess / Great Spirit, please help me to access:

the serenity to accept the things I cannot change (life, other people),

the courage and willingness to change the things I can (me, my own attitudes and behaviors),

and the wisdom and clarity to know the difference.

Gods, but I wish there was some sort of manual that I got at birth. 

The day has flown.  As did the weekend.  I knew it would.  It always does.  So much time and effort goes into all of it.  And then its a memory.  Though recreateable to some extent, what was is past. 

I find myself in a bit of an energy vacumn this morning.  I love to scene.  But just being within the space with all of the energy, the costumes, the flesh,  the emotions so raw and exposed is intoxicating.  It fills me like little else can.  And right now I feel the loss of it keenly.  Like spending time with a best friend.  You laugh, you cry, you share intimately and then you walk away.  Not because you want to because you have to.  Because there is more to life to be lived.  You cherish the time, the very essence of the space.  And though you know you are better for having experienced it, having lived and loved through it, you cant help but feel that sense of loss and the longing for its return.

Yes, I know its name.  Drop.  Ive experienced it from the bottom side of things.  But Ive not experienced it before from a tops perspective.  Switch that I am, Ive played much more vigorously in my top space of late.  Finding a bit more of me, my power, my desire and inner sadist.  I enjoy hearing those sounds, watching them move, feeling them squirm or wiggle or writhe beneath me and know that I have elicited it all.  I am finding a much greater appreciation sharing space with a playmate who gives themselves over to me.  Who gives trust willingly.  That is no small thing.  I had an appreciation for that before.  I have a much greater appreciation for that after this weekend.

I give much thanks for all the lessons I have learned and am continuing to learn as a direct result of this weekend.  I give thanks for all of those playpartners who chose to spend time with and interact in with me in such a manner.  My focus has been turned inward yet again.  And though I feel that there will be a great lesson learned, I think that there is more than a little pain on my horizon. 

I also feel that a new space, a new chapter has begun.  From helping present or facilitate a class to interactions with so many new and exciting people.  Its like just turning a corner on a new found street in a busy city.  So much to see, so much to take in.  All I need to decide is what to do and explore first!  How exciting!

I may come as a shock to some, but I really dont have a great sense of fashion.  Well, unless jeans, sweats and flannel are fashionable.  Personally I think I was dropped at a young age or forced to wear to damn many home-made plaid "you name its" and I carry permanent fashion scars.  Regardless, I have issues.

I take great pleasure in allowing two very special women in my life the lattitude to make me a bit more fashion forward.  It must be working because no one stands, points and giggles.  Everyone wins.  I look good and they get to help.  What could be better?

So, K and I  stopped by the outlet mall on the way back to Columbus.  She wanted to look for a couple of things and its was warming up nicely.  I figured I could use some new jeans.  Again, not the ones I might pick out that I would hunt in or go roll around in the dirt in.  Something nicer I could wear out and look good in.   So we ran into a shop and found a couple of pairs that seemed to meet the need and K thought would look good on me.  I noticed as I tried them on that there was a little room in them.  Hmmmmm......  So I told her to grab the next size down just to see. 

If something felt odd Sunday afternoon.... it was me.  They fit!!  And I giggled.   Im not a giggler. 

It may be simple vanity ... BUT DAMN IT.  I havent been in this size since high school!

WooHoo!!

Been up since a little before 6.  I always get excited the day of leaving for hunting.  I have for years.  Taking the time to make sure I have all the clothes, equipment, license, food, ammo, guns and misc stuff helps to calm me a bit.  Over the space of the two days before Ive gone over all that I need in my mind several times.  I will have checked and sighted my gun,  pulled out old batteries and replaced with fresh, sharpened my knife just a little more, made sure all the my hunting clothes are clean and in good repair and just generally let the mood settle in.  Hunting has been one of the few constants in my life.  Ive had so many other pieces come and go.  This one has always felt special, always felt like it was mine.  Its never been about something I do for someone else.  Its about me. 

I have a much greater appreciation for that now.  I have always felt the peace that being in the woods or forest bring.  Its where I retreat to when I need to clear my head or find answers to the big questions in my life.  I do understand it better now however.  Its where I find my "church", its where I find deity, its where that piece of me interacts with all the other pieces around me.  A sabbatical of sorts I guess you could call it.  But I always come away recharged and refreshed.  I always find just a little more strength and understanding that what I had going in. 

In many regards,this year is no different.  I have the time to rediscover the newest incarnation of me.  Version 4.1!  With me I take my  particular biases, my perspective, my own attitude and understanding.  I bring my worries and concerns, my doubts and fears, along with all of the other heavy and negative energies that have built up over the last year.  I give them back.  I give them away and let Gaia work her magic on them, recycling and reusing as only she can.  And in that space, I find a renewed sense of me.  I find a deeper peace and renewed strength.  I find peace. 

In other ways though, this year is different.  I come knowing what is available to me if I just let go.  But I always am amazed at the depth of emotion that resides within those trees and shrubs.  I am always amazed at the lessons that being quiet enough to allow the natural fauna to interact as they will can teach.  Just when I think there couldnt possibly be anything else here for me, something profound reveals itself to me.  In that place I am humbled before all that is around me once again.  I am reminded of just how small I am.  I am reminded of just how small a part I play in all that goes on around me.  But I am also reminded that regardless how small my part may be, like the squirrel or hawk, they are important.  It is important that I am who I am.  I am reminded that within me resides that divinity that through the year I sometimes forget to listen to.  And like those plants and animals around me, I am recharged with understanding that I need to be all that I can be.  I need to be an agent of deity for those around me.  I can never know just when or how someone near me, be they known to me or not, may have a quiet moment, a moment of clarity and I will be called on to be that whisper on the wind.   I may never know that I have played a vital role in helping another know just how important they have been and continue to be in helping this big world be just a little better today. 

I have but to listen.  The lessons are abundant.  I have to quiet my mind and let the understanding reveal itself.   It always does.  I have no doubt that this year will be any different.  And I am very grateful.

I have been working with a local tattoo artist since June to get my first tattoo.  I think we have finally arrived on a design!  I stopped at the shop that he does his work in and was amazed! 

So, as of December 12... I will have the first stage of the greenman on my left chest.  He will do the outline and shading then.  I'll have to go back 3 or 4 weeks later for the color.  Im a little nervous as this will be my first tattoo.  But I am thrilled as well for the very same reason!!

WooHoo!!

I finally finished my absentee ballot! 

Yeah me!

Go Vote.....

or ...

No Bitching for YOU!

(this psa was brought to you by the little gnomes that live in Curt's head.  They are affiliated with no specific party.  They do, however enjoy a good party.  Invite them over and find out more!)

I have learnt silence from the talkative, toleration from the intolerant, and kindness from the unkind; yet strange, I am ungrateful to these teachers.
Kahlil Gibran

Just got on myself and have lost a couple hours exploring already.  If your reading this, friend me and I'll add you in.

Ive been feeling a little ..... less than satisfied on the old job front lately. Part of it is an on-going issue with the run volume. As I was promoted a little over a year ago, I had to start over in a sense. Back to the 'less desirable' stations and work my way back up the ladder per se. But there seems to be something else calling to me. Its like Im missing something in my professional life.

I took the time a couple weeks ago to start some investigating into heading into the nursing field. I spoke with several folks who are currently in classes making the transition as well as sending out for some information from those agencies and schools that deal with making nurses. What I found within myself as the responses began to come back was that though I could do it, my heart just isnt in it. I dont feel pulled specifically toward a career in nursing. That alone has pretty much quashed that. Not a field to be in unless you really want to be there.

I believe it has to be working with people in a more personal sense. I've thought about the massage field. Not just doing what I do know, but actually getting my credentials and moving in that direction. K and I have spoken in the past of opening a sort of retreat type of place that would be for the mind as well as the body. A healing place for all that life throws at us. A place where people could come to find or rediscover that quiet place within from which springs that personal peace and understanding that it seems too many have lost these days.

Its coming back to bite them in the butt. And not a moment too soon! More and more often at the McCain/Palin rallies, there are attendees that are openly hostile and making remarks that should be looked at and taken seriously. "I dont trust him, he's an Arab", "the socialists are taking over". The media is even taking a beating of late. A racial epithet was spewed at an african-american member of the media at a Palin rally this week as well.

When will the hate stop? McCain's camp has been in a negative ad/speech mode for some time now. Even before, there were emails circulating calling into question Obama's character based simply on his middle name. Are you freaking kidding me? At what point will the nation wake up and look at the depth of a person's character and their personal integrity instead of the color of their skin? When will be able to spend time on hearing about the candidates platform as opposed to all the mud-slinging about the other gal/guy? When will we stop playing on the hate and fears that have been taught to us by our narrow-minded predecessors?

It's telling that at one of these rallies, McCain was forced to take a moment and remind his own supporters that Obama is a decent person and not someone to be feared. I hope that they enjoyed that. I hope that someone is beginning to see that maybe all of this negative campaigning is not the way to go. I just want the election to get here already so we can end this insanity already!

Grab the nearest book.
* Open the book to page 56.
* Find the fifth sentence.
* Post the text of the sentence in your journal along with these instructions.
* Don't dig for your favorite book, the cool book, or the intellectual one: pick the CLOSEST

"As a component of healthcare, EMS has a responsibility to not only prevent injury and illness among EMS workers, but also to promote prevention among the members of the public"

From Essentials of Paramedic Care.

Can you guess Im at work?

You are a Social Liberal (73% permissive) and an... Economic Liberal (31% permissive) You are best described as a: Democrat Link: The Politics Test on Ok Cupid Also : The OkCupid Dating Persona Test

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